Creating a “Not-to-do” list does wonders to relieve stress. 

Over the last 10 years, I’ve embraced minimalism to illuminate my priorities and simplify my life. This holiday season, I care about embracing the darkness with courage, creating space for creative magic, and showing up well in my relationships. Decluttering helps.

Simple life influencers like Courtney Carver, Joshua Becker, Marie Kondo, and The Minimalists inspired new rituals and approaches.

I’m not spending hours with relatives, having an okay time, while I eat too much from the decadent buffet and try to avoid drama. I’m not pouring my heart into gifts for people who don’t appreciate me. Instead, I’m prioritizing wellness, joy, and loving connections. 

Instead of being overwhelmed or “getting through” the season, I regroup on holiday priorities for this year and make a “not-to-do” list. Over the last few years, this approach has given me the capacity to do more of what I love doing rather than trying to “keep up.”

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1. Comparing yourself to others

This one’s so powerful, it’s worth repeating over and over again. Getting into minimalism empowered me to reframe what I owned and purchased and why. This year, as I’m navigating a career transition, I’m being gentle with myself by releasing comparisons. 

Staying off social media helps so much, especially during the holidays. Instead, I have space to more fully enjoy the shared moments and memory-making.

2. Putting others’ priorities first 

My parents wanted me to visit them for the holidays, and I said “No.” Reducing the guilt associated with that choice has taken me years. For me, prioritizing my wellness and mental health matters much more than going way out of my way to spend excess time and money to make others happy. 

As Carver shared, “Let the people pleasing start with me.” Honoring my needs and values inspires others to do the same. Once I’ve clarified how to nurture my energy, saying “No” comes more naturally.

3. Accepting pressure to get gifts for everyone

I heard a friend complain about these expectations. I suggested getting some small, consumable gifts if she wants to and maybe writing a line or two about why that person matters to her, then calling it a day.

Love doesn’t come in a box.

4. Postponing decluttering

Once I sit down to take time for myself, decluttering and cleaning feel so grounding. Carver inspired me to finally get rid of old journals for example. 

“The meaning of my life is not in what I save or keep, it’s in how I live. The meaning IS the living. So now I live instead of proving that I’ve lived by the stuff I own,” wrote Carver, in a “Be More With Less” post.

Every time I let go of the stuff I’m not using or keeping out of guilt, I sense an immediate lightness. Feeling lighter gives me more energy to enjoy the creative projects, spa days, party planning, authentic gift-giving, and play time I crave.

5. Numbing emotions

With pressure to do and be more while the days get darker, over-stimulation can happen easily. Instead of loving the connection with my Self and inner peace, I’m carving out space to be with my feelings. I’ll do an extra meditation. I’m the only one who can protect my time and energy. 

Listening to my body and caring for my inner child makes all the difference. I show up better for others as a result. I make more intuitive choices, like picking which projects can wait and making sure I get seven to eight hours of sleep. 

6. Squeezing “more” in

Knowing I’m about to take a few days off work, I’ve noticed a sense of urgency to “make up” for the time I’ll be missing. Instead of trying to fit in everything, I assess my priorities one day at a time. I know saying “No” more often than not empowers me to say “Yes” more wholeheartedly. 

More than choosing quality over quantity, minimalism inspires me to embrace “white space.”

“Play is one of the most important behaviors of being human. It is also part of the natural instincts children possess,” said Dr. Stuart Brown, a researcher and psychiatrist specializing in engaged play.

Play offers many benefits for your physical and mental health, which seems like a beautiful way to celebrate the season. One 2011 study on adult play shows how playtime connects to desirable traits such as liking to make people laugh, the ability to ease tension, and being able to support creative processes in a group.

7. Skipping self-care habits

Taking time for morning meditation and movement sets my day up for more calm. I can also release any guilt for the days I skipped routines and focus instead on what I can do right now. 

As the famous Zen saying goes: “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day. Unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.”

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I view minimalism as the process of removing the unnecessary to create space for the necessary. The approach continues to support difficult decision-making and encourage more joy and love in my life.  

For those who developed codependent patterns (most of us), the holiday season comes with extra pressure to “do everything for everyone” or “be everywhere all at once.”

One of my favorite codependency experts, Melody Beattie, sums it up well: “The surest way to make ourselves crazy is to get involved in other people’s business, and the quickest way to stay happy and sane is to tend to our own affairs.”

I think about that quote often. Feeling happy and healthy means focusing on me first, and that’s truly what’s best for everyone.

Find more inspiration in my recent article: “10 Insights From 10 Years of Enjoying Minimalism.”  

*Photo Credit: My sweet partner, Anas Qtiesh, captured this playful photo. 

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I publish inspiring, uplifting, and empowering content on transformative topics and send creative offerings each week (Tuesdays). Through 10 years of publishing writing, I’ve shaped a strong message and a soft voice. I create empathetically and love hearing what my stories bring up for you. Buy me coffee to support my creative process.

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