Spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle inspires a freeing approach to enlightened connections.
In his bestselling book “The Power of Now,” Tolle shows how enlightened relationships end love/hate dynamics. In a state of acceptance, we enjoy true Love that exists beyond egoic needs.
In the last year, I’ve explored four romantic partnerships, and Tolle’s spiritual concepts have significantly improved my approach to dating. I know the pain I experience usually already exists; deeper connections tend to bring out old wounds. Rather than blaming partners, I feel more accepting and embrace inner healing opportunities.
“Love is a state of Being. Your love is not outside; it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form,” writes Tolle.
Tolle describes how spiritual love is not exclusive or selective; it only varies in intensity.
“There may be one person who reflects your love back to you more clearly and more intensely than others, and if that person feels the same toward you, it can be said that you are in a love relationship with him or her,” shares Tolle.
Rather than loving from a place of form and separation, Tolle explains how to connect through Oneness. While I loved the entire book (and have read it many times), his “Enlightened Relationships” chapter really clicked.
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Move from addictive to enlightened relationships.
Tolle describes the physical urge for oneness, or opposite polarity attraction, as a spiritual need for wholeness.
“Sexual union is the closest you can get to this state on the physical level. This is why it is the most deeply satisfying experience the physical realm can offer. But sexual union is not more than a fleeting glimpse of wholeness, an instant of bliss,” writes Tolle.
He explains how many of us feel addicted to these relationships and experience drama cycles. Romance seems to solve our ego’s problems, and we feel complete, temporarily. However, we’re still trying to solve spiritual needs in the physical realm.
“Every addiction starts with and ends with pain. Every addiction reaches a point where it does not work for you anymore, and then you feel the pain more intensely than ever,” writes Tolle.
Until we embrace true Love, our partnerships are dysfunctional.
“The greatest catalyst for change in a relationship is complete acceptance of your partner as he or she is, without needing to judge or change them in any way. That immediately takes you beyond ego. The mind games and all addictive clinging are then over,” shares Tolle.
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With all the twists and turns in life and partnerships, I feel reassured when I remember I am exactly where I need to be. Every step is necessary.
“As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter,” shares Tolle.
To experience enlightened relationships, strengthen your spirituality in intuitive ways. Read Tolle’s book, deepen (or start) your meditation practice, or explore other paths to connecting with loving Oneness.
Photo Credit: Unsplash, Scott Broome
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